SOFTWARE TESTING JOKES: The following jokes related to software testing have been compiled from forwarded emails and internet resources. Thanks to the ones who thought of them first. The Height Of A Flagpole A group of managers were given the assignment of measuring the height of a flagpole. So they go out to the flagpole with ladders and tape measures and they’re struggling to get the correct measurement; dropping the tape measures and falling off the ladders. A tester comes along and sees what they’re trying to do, walks over, pulls down the flagpole, lays it flat, measures it from end to end, gives the measurement to one of the managers and walks away. After the tester is gone, one manager turns to another and laughs, “Isn’t that just like a tester? We’re looking for the height and he gives us the length.” Damage Testing The Aviation Department had a unique device for testing the strength of windshields on airplanes. The device was a gun that launched a dead chicken at a plane’s windshield at approximately the speed the plane flies. The theory was that if the windshield does not crack from the impact of the chicken, it will survive a real collision with a bird during flight. The Railroad Department heard of this device and decided to use it for testing a windshield on a locomotive they were developing. So the Railroad Department borrowed the device, loaded a chicken and fired at the windshield of the locomotive. The chicken not only shattered the windshield but also went right through and made a hole on the back wall of the engine cab – the unscathed chicken’s head popping out of the hole. The Railroad Department was stunned and contacted the Aviation Department to recheck the test to see if everything was done correctly. The Aviation Department reviewed the test thoroughly and sent a report. The report consisted of just one recommendation and it read “Use a thawed chicken.” A Tester’s Courage The Director of a software company proudly announced that a flight software developed by the company was installed in an airplane and the airlines was offering free first flights to the members of the company. “Who are interested?” the Director asked. Nobody came forward. Finally, one person volunteered. The brave Software Tester stated, “I will do it. I know that the airplane will not be able to take off.” Light Bulb Question: How many testers does it take to change a light bulb? Question: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? The Glass
Testing Definition To tell somebody that he is wrong is called criticism. To do so officially is called testing. Sign On Testers’ Doors Do not disturb. Already disturbed! Words Developer: There is no I in TEAM Experience Counts There was a software tester who had an exceptional gift for finding bugs. After serving his company for many years, he happily retired. Several years later, the company contacted him regarding a bug in a multi-million-dollar application which no one in the company was able to reproduce. They tried for many days to replicate the bug but without success. In desperation, they called on the retired software tester and after much persuasion he reluctantly took the challenge. He came to the company and started studying the application. Within an hour, he provided the exact steps to reproduce the problem and left. The bug was then fixed. Later, the company received a bill for $50,000 from the software tester for his service. The company was stunned with the exorbitant bill for such a short duration of service and demanded an itemized accounting of his charges. The software tester responded with the itemization:
Sandwich Two software testers went into a diner and ordered two drinks. Then they produced sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat. The owner became quite concerned and marched over and told them, “You cannot eat your own sandwiches in here!” The testers looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders and then exchanged sandwiches. Signs That You’re Dating A Tester
Who Is Who
Programmer Responses Some sample replies that you get from programmers when their programs do not work:
Assessment Of An Opera A CEO of a software company was given a ticket for an opera. Since he was unable to go, he passed the invitation to the company’s Quality Assurance Manager. The next morning, the CEO asked him how he enjoyed it, and he was handed a report, which read as follows: For a considerable period, the oboe players had nothing to do. Their number should be reduced, and their work spread over the whole orchestra, thus avoiding peaks of inactivity. All twelve violins were playing identical notes. This seems unnecessary duplication, and the staff of this section should be drastically cut. If a large volume of sound is really required, this could be obtained through the use of an amplifier. Much effort was involved in playing the demi-semiquavers. This seems an excessive refinement, and it is recommended that all notes be rounded up to the nearest semiquaver. No useful purpose is served by repeating with horns the passage that has already been handled by the strings. If all such redundant passages were eliminated, the concert could be reduced from two hours to twenty minutes. The Search Under a streetlight, on a very dark night, a software tester was looking for a set of lost keys. A policeman came by, asked him about the object of his search, and joined him to help. After the two had searched for some time, the policeman asked, “Are you sure you lost them here?” “Oh, no,” said the software tester. “I lost the keys somewhere else.” “Then why are you looking for them over here?” the policeman asked. “Because this is where the light is!” the software tester replied. Moral: Do not be so stupid that you search for bugs only at the obvious places. Disney Password A person with a developer background was hired as a software tester and assigned to a Disney website project. On reviewing his test data for the login feature, it was found that he had “MickeyDonaldGoofyPluto” for the password field. Amused, his manager asked him why. “It says the password needs to have at least four characters.” he replied. Food Testing
Tickle Me Toys There is a factory that makes Tickle Me toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms. Jane is hired at the factory and she reports for her first day promptly. The next day there is a knock at the Personnel Manager’s door. The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new employee. He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is delayed, putting the entire production line behind schedule. The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself, so the two men march down to the factory floor. When they get there the line is so backed up that there are Tickle Me toys all piling up. At the end of the line stands a nervous Jane surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me toys. She has a roll of thread and a huge bag of small marbles. The two men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of thread, wraps it around two marbles and begins to carefully sew the little package between the toy’s legs. The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter. After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself together, approaches Jane and says “I’m sorry, Jane, but I think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you yesterday. Your job was to give the toys two test tickles each.” Software Release Day Damn! It’s a Software Release day on a Friday. 02:00PM
07:00PM
10:00PM
11:00PM
11:58PM
Next Day
Morale-O-Meter of a Software Tester A Software Tester’s morale is as stable as a wave in an ocean.
Tilt your head and see the happy person. A sample day in the life of a software tester.
Sorry if we scared the newbies. Take it easy, folks. |
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